- Author: Professor Vernon B Kreplach
- Category: prose
The Sermon In The Pit
From the Gospel according to Eric
Chapter 13 versus Mothra
And smelling the throng,
He went down into a pit:
And when he was drunk,
His backing group came unto him:
And he opened his gob, and gave them what for, belching
Cursed are the rich in bonuses: for theirs is a time-share in Hades.
Cursed are they that gloat: for they shall be found out.
Cursed are the brazen: for they shall pick up the bill.
Cursed are they that do pig out and swill at the trough: for they shall be filleted.
Cursed are the judgmental for they shall be judged.
Cursed are the greedy at heart: for they shall get theirs.
Cursed are the arms dealers: for they shall be called the sons of bitches.
Cursed are they, which are praised for profit’s sake: for theirs is a time-share in Hades.
Cursed are ye, well men shall reward you, and elevate you, and shall say all manner of flannel right up you, for high stakes.
Look out, and be exceeding wary: for great is your comeuppance in the not too distant: for so caught they the greedy bastards which were before you.
And much rejoicing was there verily and all.
Translated from the Ancient Greek into complete gibberish by Professor Vernon B Kreplach (A.C.M.)
